I just got off the phone with Ruth. She had sent me a text a few minutes earlier to call when I got home from school. I'm in the mess of planning and involved in the work of the major fundraiser event for our elementary school. I spend most of my time doing or thinking about this event right now.

  I called her and she reminded me that mom had her appointment this morning. She had labs drawn last week and other tests to find out what is going on since her ablation a few weeks ago. Mom is just getting worse. We were told that the procedure cleared all of the tumor and she could be feeling pretty well after that and have a good couple years ahead of her.

Fast forward to now...She has only gotten worse. She is contained to her bedroom because she is unstable using her stairs. She has to use her walker to get the bathroom that is connected to her bedroom. She can walk with it but it out of breath when going to the office across the hallway. She needs, it seems, semi-constant care. Amy and Ruth have taken turns staying in her house and staying with her. 

The next things Ruth says: "The doctor said Mom has 6 months or less to live"

um.

What does one say after that?

But I did say, I had worried it would be something like that.

But even if I did think that she's going no where but down. I don't want a medical professional confirming my fears.

The last conversation I had with my mom was while I was at the grocery store. I called her while in the parking lot because I hadn't talked to her since I was coming home and in the airport. 

She must have been just having this type of conversation with Ruth before I called because she quickly changed from small conversation to move to how things aren't getting better and she is clearing things from her house. She told me to make room for the things she is giving us: a rifle (need a gun safe), a tractor (we don't need it and there is NO place for that on my property), and I think that ended. And then, what kitchen items do I need or want. I asked for a pie dish and a glass loaf pan. Then I started to walk towards the store and while shopping for candy, she asked if I have talked to the kids about it. They needed to have some warning. I told her that I have mentioned that Grammy is getting sicker and can't do many things anymore. I have told them that she needs more help now. But I don't think it means anything to them now. They need to see her.

I told the 3 boys that Grammy won't be living for a lot more time. I tried to be a little vague by saying that she is getting worse and she will die sooner than we thought. Dallin asked me what soon means. That's a hard term to explain to a kid. I said that all of us are going to die but she is closer to dyeing now. He just thought about it and didn't say much. Jared immediately showed emotion in his face. I knew that talking about this before wasn't ideal for a "good night's rest". But I also knew that by saying such things in a less formal setting wouldn't have gotten their attention. This subject needs a little more attention. 

Ruth and Amy have a few ideas. She can have one of her children come out and stay with her for days at a time. Bryan, Ethan, Joe, Amy and Ruth can and will do that. Aunt RosaLee is going to come out. We need to see what type of hospice she choses but either way, she is going to need constant care. She needs everything done for her. Hyrum and I considered moving in with mom and always having someone there. But now I can see that my sisters want to be able to stay there and have a place that is theirs (the guest room) while doing that. We would just all be in the way. But I haven't figured out how I spend a lot of time there while I have a lot of people here who need me rather a lot. I can also see that things will calm down with school in the next couple weeks as I wrap up my obligations. But then our family is headed to Florida for our much anticipated vacation. (side thought: I don't want to be worried about losing my mom when we are gone.) BUT maybe, starting with November, we will stay put a bit and I can rotate staying at my mom's house during the school hours and pick up all my kids and then...I don't know. I haven't figured some things out. I just found out things are DEFINATELY not going to get better. We are definitely loosing my beloved mother sooner.

Pandemic=Quarantine at Home for Us

I wanted to be good and post a few of the things going on during our time this last month. We have now been quarantined in house for just over a month. To back up to before then...
I'm not sure when the CDC started to announce to the public to start stocking up on toilet paper and bottled water but it might have been the end of February. I do remember that the stockpiling was happening while my mom was in Colorado at the end of February but the announcement may have happened earlier. I communicated with my mom while she was gone and she didn't seem concerned at all but I started to get concerned, myself. I was worried that if I didn't start taking it seriously, the supplies wouldn't be there when I needed them. I spent the first 2 weeks of March "stocking up", you could say. I made a 14-day meal plan and decided what food I needed and got extras, like frozen veggies and a box of chicken, etc. Things started to seem like they were getting serious in the week of March 9th to 13th and I spent the time while the kids were in school to try to find the things we would need while we were stuck at home. No body said that would happend yet but it felt like we were headed there. And even though the news had talked about 2 weeks, I felt like it would be more than that. That is why I felt a need to prepare so much. I actually had a lot of necessities already but I needed to make sure of that and go through it all in my mind. I was grateful Hyrum had purchased so many laundry detergents and that I had a multi-pack of Lysol wipes stored, among other things.

Friday night, the 13th, at 10:18 pm I received this email from Weber School District.
Dear Parents,

This afternoon Governor Gary Herbert initiated a “soft closure” on all K-12 public and charter schools for the next two weeks (beginning Monday, March 16, 2020).  The governor explained that his intent in issuing this unprecedented move was to prevent potential community spread of the coronavirus.  His emphasis was on “social distancing,” or the elimination of large group gatherings.  I want to emphasize that there have been no cases of the covid-19 virus identified in the Weber School District at this point.

Next week our teachers will spend Monday and Tuesday preparing for a short-term, on-line delivery of curriculum for students.  Teachers will be preparing a modified home learning experience—one that permits students to continue engaging in meaningful study from home. No students should attend school on Monday, March 16th or Tuesday, March 17th.

Beginning Wednesday, March 18th, a modified home study plan will be made available to your student(s).  Teachers will communicate specific information regarding that modified home study plan.  As much as possible, over the two-week school “soft closure” period, students should not be at school.  In order to adhere to the governor’s request, students should practice social distancing and learn from home. 

Our teachers and staff will spend limited time in the schools during this two-week period.  However, teachers will primarily be preparing and uploading learning material that students can access from home.  In those rare instances where students cannot access the internet at home or may not have a computer available, they can come to the school between the hours of 8:30 a.m. thru 12:00 noon. 

During this two-week “soft closure” of schools, buses will not be running. However, we will make available a “Grab and Go” sack lunch that students can pick up from their school.  Those schools that provide breakfast will provide a “Grab and Go” morning meal as well.  Specific information on school meals during the two-week “soft closure” period will be provided next week.

Through this two-week period, all extra-curricular activities and athletic events will be suspended.  This includes practices.  The suspension of athletic games and practices is statewide.  Finally, please note that the spring break will remain as scheduled (March 30 – April 3).

We recognize that we are in uncharted territory.  Because of that we understand that there will be questions not addressed in this brief message.  Additional questions should be directed to your school principal.  I will be working closely with our principals throughout this unique period.  These are remarkable times requiring extraordinary adjustments and sacrifices by all.  And, it’s all being done at the request of the governor and for the sake of public health and safety.  We are grateful for your understanding and express our deepest appreciation for all you do to support our schools.


Dr. Jeff Stephens
Superintendent
Weber School District

That set off the reality of it all. It was necessary to keep the kids home and to have the parents monitor learning from home. It didn't really hit me all that it would include from me but it was something entirely new.

This was a post I made from Facebook, started by "who-knows-who" but filled out by me, with specifics. It would be good to share.

Just so I never forget...

This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared on March 11th.

*Gas prices have dropped at least 30 cents and near my home it is $2.29.

*School cancelled March 14th, 2020. We are continuing online achooling, and school is said (at this point) to open again May 1st.

*Panic-buying sets in and most people can't find toilet paper, disinfecting supplies, paper towels, laundry soap, and hand sanitizer. Store shelves are nearly bare.

*High School Prom cancelled and graduation ceremonies potentially cancelled as well. University graduations have been canceled.

*Social Distancing: No gatherings of 100 or more then 50 or more, then 20 or more, now 10 or more.

*Don't physically socialize with anyone outside of your home. We are to distance from each other.

*Church shifted from meeting at the church building to in-home worship starting March 14th.

*Beginning March 16th, all missionaries scheduled to enter missionary training centers in Utah or England, are trained remotely by video conference. Days later, all missionary training centers closed.

*Church announced no public will be allowed to attend General Conference and was broadcasted, instead, from a small auditorium on Temple Square.

*Temples closed worldwide on March 25th.

*Government closed the borders to all non-essential travel.

*U.S. missionaries serving in other countries are returning home in waves. After quarantine, they will either be released, reassigned, or wait to be reassigned after 12-18 months. (My niece and nephew- Malorie and Sam are still in their missions as of April 4th.)

*Self-distancing measures on the rise state by state. Shelter-in-place orders for some states. Utah's Governor Herbert declared "Stay Home, Stay Safe" on March 27th.

*Tape on the floors at grocery stores and other stores, to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other. Big plastic shields separate cashiers from shoppers at the checkout.

*Limited number of people inside stores, causing long lineups outside the store doors. Stores that remain open have reduced hours. Restaurant orders all are curbside pick-up.

*Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed. Small businesses need to apply for financial help to get through these times. Millions have applied for unemployment benefits.

*Stimulus package passed in government to supplement incomes lost and help businesses through the time closed and limited business.

*Playgrounds are off limits and taped-off. City buildings have locked their doors.

*Entire sports seasons cancelled. Olympics postponed to 2021.

*Shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers. Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.

*Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their production lines so they can help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.

*Doctors, Dentists, etc. have closed offices and are only seeing patients with emergencies. (Hyrum had a phone-call doctor appointment on April 2nd, while at work.)

*Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events -- cancelled. (We had (have) tickets for Celine Dion for March 26th and for Michael Buble for May 8th. Both have been cancelled and no reschedule date set.)

*Weddings, baptisms, family celebrations, holiday gatherings -- cancelled. (We celebrated Hyrum's 40th birthday very privately.🎂)

*In large cities, stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of COVID-19 patients.

*Many workers shift to working at home. (Hyrum continues to work at the hospital and was briefed on being backup triage if conditions worsen significantly.)

*Press conferences daily from the US President and governors. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.

*Barely anyone on the roads.

*People wearing masks and gloves outside and to the grocery stores. (Although I haven't seen that here yet).

*Essential service workers are terrified to go to work. Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families. They are doing it anyway and we are grateful.

*People putting fun things up in their windows for neighbors to see, singing from their balconies, checking in on one another. Beauty from ashes.

*5.7 Earthquake hit Utah (Magna) March 18, 2020. Hoaxes about another, larger quake set off panic up and down the Wasatch Front. 6.5 Earthquake hit 78 miles from Boise, Idaho, March 31st.

One day, during a better time, this will show up in my memory feed, and it will be an annual reminder that life is precious and not to take the things we dearly love for granted.

April 9th the Utah Governor set a new date for school closures. It was then extended out till the end of April, with a return date of May 1st.

Our adventures of our time at home will be coming in the next post.

All about Pikmin with Jared

I was driving home from school this morning with Jared in the back. I started to hear him giggling. When I looked back, he was twirling the white pikmin's head around. He told me the pikmin was trying to fly. Then the pikmin fell into "the hole"- aka Jared's cupholder.

He started a big conversation about all the pikmin and the types. He told me about the pink- flying ones; the yellow-electric one; the blue-water one; the red-fire one and the rock pikmin too. I reminded him that there are purple ones too. He told that there are not but I reminded him that the are the super strong type. This conversation continued and he repeated all the types.

Then he said: There is another type.
Me: There is?
Jared: Yes! The dead pikmin. They are the dead ones. That's what happens when they get killed by the bad guys, the bulborbs and the bosses.

Pioneer Day Singing Time

For Pioneer Day Singing Time last year I made a United States map on a poster. It's only the outline, I'm not that patient! And I made a small state of Illinois and Utah and have a covered wagon that can moved along with the story you tell and sing about for Pioneer Day.

I didn't want to do the same exact thing this year, partly since I didn't have enough time to do it in last year and you need to finish the story, at least quickly. Plus I want to somehow integrate a Program Song of the year into it so we're still reviewing. I'm feeling like my kids aren't catching onto This is My Beloved Son very well so I'm trying to do more of Sharla Dance's method of doing just one verse for 2 or 3 weeks for about 5 minutes each time. It's an activity of some type and it helps get the verse into their heads through the "back door". So, I'm just a little behind schedule as far as the program coming up and reviewing all of the songs through together in time.

Wow, that's a big ramble for me just to simply state that I wanted to do a different activity for Pioneer Day this year and make it my own, most likely.
I was searching ideas and really like this one.
And this one has a printable map, to make things easier.
I like this one, using the Wagon wheel for song choices. I really like the trivia for the kids, too. It helps them think about it and respond instead of just listening or tuning out if you are doing too much talking.

So, I'll probably do to the 1st one, as it's simpler, and try to get a program song in there with it, like do 3rd verse to If the Savior Stood Beside Me or A Child's Prayer (probably that one) at Winter Quarters. And instead of I Love to See the Temple with the Nauvoo part of it, I could do Families Can Be Together Forever, verse 2.

I saw a SUPER CUTE bingo idea, called Pioneer Day Singo. Camille is awesome. I wanted to make one of these but she thought about it too and made it so cute! It's Here. The only thing I would do differently if I were to make a Bingo for this, is maybe not do the Patriotic songs as well. But that could be fun to do. I would just want to focus singing on the Pioneers, even though it's all intertwined, really.

It will all make for a fun and song-filled Pioneer Day singing time.

Patriotic Singing Time

I wanted to celebrate Independence Day by singing some patriotic songs with the kids on Sunday so I decided which songs would be good for the occasion- plus added a review song we've been working on.

I got a lot of helpers to come up for My Flag, My Flag. I had some blue paper BELLS with some of the song's words and I brought a few small flags for when we sang that word. It was nice to have so many come up and participate BUT I found most of them would rather have a flag, so pick kids that tend to be a better sport about those things or let them know ahead of time what they will be holding and how important the liberty bell is to hold. Here is the PDF to those pages. All of the 3 patriotic songs I used are on the one file. And can be found here if someone wants to just print them.

We sang My Country with some pages I created, since I don't expect anyone to know it.

We sang My Country, Tis of Thee from the Hymns also, just the first verse. It feels good sing it loud. Oh, and I thought it would be fun to play a little game with them that one of the leaders had a bell bracelet to ring at the ending and they had to guess who rang the bell. It could be sung through again and have another leader do it and guess again. But that's just an additional idea.

I told them we had just sung My Flag, My Country, My Country, Tis of Thee...what do they have in common? All start with MY! And then I said the next song is about MY family, even if that's not the name of the song.

I just wanted to introduce Families can Be Together Forever to the kids. I did a Song Story that someone had created and posted on the Facebook page found here.
The Song Story went really well. It was the first time I had done one. I began by telling them that I was going to "tell them a story and sing a little too" and they just got to listen this time. I had read through the story so that I could tell it in my own words but had the papers to help me know when to sing the next line of the song. It was for verse one of the song and ALL of the kids and teachers paying close attention. I even had a teacher in tears. I was amazed at how well it went and it taught them the importance of the song's words, as well as familiarizing them with the melody of it.

With Jr. Primary I also did the wiggle song Fun To Do and we did the actions and words:
-watching fireworks (and burst hands out)
-waving a flag
-marching in a parade
-then let them tell me what they do for the holiday. One said they go to a carnival and go on a ride so we did a roller coaster motion with bodies bobbing around. :)

Afterthought:
The kids asked if they could keep the flags. It can either be mentioned beforehand that they get to hold yours and then return them or buy some for all to keep. Some can be purchased here beforehand. Here is a good option. Or this one.

Calling change

I had decided I wasn't going to youth conference coming up but I was planning on going to Girls Camp for a day in July. It would not be the whole day but part of it and on Wed. the 12th, because Dallin's birthday is the 13th.
But even still, I had been feeling "not with it" with Young Women's. The advisor that works with me with the Beehives works late and has her kids in a lot of things so they weren't coming to activities-even when she said she would but would just be a little late. I found that frustrated me a lot but didn't want to talk badly of her to the Kellie. I would plan things and they were not going anywhere as I had planned and I was also getting tired of the exertion it required to be nonstop with activities, teaching Sunday's, summer youth conferences, girls camp planning, new beginnings, yw in excellence, fund raiser, and whatever else the Bishops council wanted to add: Ward Carnival; RS: babysitting for activities; and the Stake: Stake Dance chaperones, yearly August Service project; and General leaders too: Face to Face fireside. ALL of these things being valuable to the youth and necessarily being led by leaders but also I struggled getting the youth to understand our personal pulls we have. They wanted us to go to their weeknight concerts and plays and I simply couldn't do more.
I think the Lord knew that's where I was because Joe Maylin asked to speak with me for a few minutes after the block of meetings on Sunday and when he did he told me I was being released as 2nd councillor.
But I don't think I could have ever been prepared for the calling awaiting me...Primary Music Leader!!
What?!
I have, since, heard people tell me that that is the calling they wish they could have. Funny thing...i never have.
And it's mine.
I laughed with the shock of it and told him I'm not really good with kids. He laughed at me with my family surrounding me in that little room. But I said, "Well they are my own. That's different."
But, regardless of all my insecurities and apprehensions, I accepted. And now I can't stop thinking about it.

We buried our baby 11 years ago today. We held him in our arms in the early morning hours of Friday, February 24th. This year has fallen on the same days of the week. I remained in the hospital for days after, since I was toxic and being supervised. I was on a magnesium drip and was "out-of-it". I was released from there on Sunday afternoon, the 26th.



This is the outfit that was made for Gavin
and that he wore to be buried in.

We spent the next day, Monday, arranging things for Gavin to be buried. We bought his plot at the cemetery and went to the Funeral Home to order flowers, a casket and schedule the burial. We made some phone calls to notify family and friends that Gavin would be buried the next morning, on Tuesday, the 28th.
It was raining a lot. Either Heaven was crying with us or showing it's glory for our prince. He can pass through this mortal experience and be in His glory. We just have a lot to work on (our personal failings) to get to that point with him.
We love you. You are forever our baby boy.